Wow ! When was the last time I wrote in my Psycho Babble Blog ? Been a long time … I think ? So a few of you have been wondering where I’ve been and unless you’re my friend on Facebook I’ve eluded you since my last blog post. Well, let me bring you up to date. Umm … let’s see in September 2011 I got married to my sweetie of 12+ yrs., the hectic Holidays where I spend like 2 weeks or more at my Mom’s, my Hubby was transitioning to another job, and I just didn’t find anything of interest to really blog about. Well, sometimes I do but I’m just too lazy or forget it that it didn’t go to my Blog. I will try to be more active on my blog again real soon. To those Haters who post Hate comments on my blog posts … My Blog is no place for hate comments so they’re immediately deleted. This is a NO H8 zone. I’m Rubber your Glue what you say to me just bounces off and hits you smack in the face. Drink your Haterade and Hate Cereal elsewhere. Thank you !

I consider myself to be an Avid gamer and more or less a Veteran of the Video Game consoles. My first taste of video gaming was that in the 1980s which was PONG and from there I had a Coleco Vision and Atari. I was pretty much born with a love for Video Games. If there were such thing as Video Game console resumes my console history would be quite extensive. Which is why I felt it was my duty to both fellow avid gamers and new video gamers to-be to provide review and input on the Nintendo 3DS system. Hopefully my blog will help you in your decision to purchasing one or not this Christmas or in the future.

As an early Christmas present my Husband bought me a 3DS bundle pack which included a Pearl Pink 3DS and Nintendogs French Bulldog and New friends game plus the *NEW* Super Mario 3D Land. (n_n) I Love my husband so much !! He knew I was always puzzling over the idea of the DSi/DSi XL .vs. 3DS but knew I wanted to play some of the games that are only available on the 3DS. Now that I have a 3DS I can tell you the PROs and CONs to having this 3DS over the DSi/DSi XL. But I have to tell you it’s a bit disappointing to say the least. So here we go …

PROs : You have the 1st video game console to ever go 3D – You can watch Netflicks, listen to MP3s, take 3D videos & pictures, can sync with your Nintendo Wii. (T~T) There’s not much PROs compared to the CONs which isn’t a good thing.

CONs : You rarely if ever use the 3D setting – Your Eyes tire faster than if you were playing a regular 2D DS/DSi – Battery Life only lasts 3-4 hours which is good for parents who have kids that won’t get off their handheld game consoles but makes the 3DS portability useless unless you got a car charger – Occasionally freezes on you where it you have to hold the power button for 3-4 seconds to restart – the eShop is not as extensive as say the WiiWare shopping channel or the DSiWare shop. There’s only approx. 37 games available for downloading and prices can range from $.99-6.99

There seems to be more Negatives over the positives. But keep in mind that the 3DS is still fairly *NEW* so upgrades and downloadable content will improve over time but it ain’t going to be any time soon I’m sure of that. Probably within a year or more will things start to get a little better with the 3DS. As of now my opinion on the 3DS is … Meh !! 7 out of 10 rating. I think for those of you especially with younger kids like under 10 just stick with getting your son/daughter a DSi. If you wanna upgrade from the DS lite get them a DSi XL which has a bigger screen, longer battery life like 6-8 hours, and still able to enjoy their previous DS games. If my 3DS wasn’t a gift I think I might return and exchange for a DSi XL instead bcuz to be honest the 3DS isn’t all that much of a hoot as I thought it would be.

Who knew that a Hobby such as Quilting can be such an expensive hobby. I’ve always wanted to learn to quilt and after my niece made a beautiful quilt in daycare and my friend made a 1st time quilt … it encouraged me to step forward into learning a *NEW* hobby to add to my extensive experience/resume of Crafts I do. My first quilt didn’t turn out so perfect bcuz the squares I cut out of fabric weren’t all the exact same size. So I went out to look for quilting rulers at my local craft shops. I specifically was looking for square quilting rulers and one of a 6″ x 6″ size bcuz the 5″ x 5″ CD cover I was using and the 1/4″ inch seam shrunk the square down to about a 4.5″ square which was too small to appreciate the fabric patterns in my opinion. So I went in search of some supplies needed for Quilting such as a Cutting mat *XS My Desk looks like a cat attacked it with it’s claws*, A Square Ruler, and a *NEW* blade for my Rotary cutter.

I went to my Local craft store only to find Cutting mat prices start at like $10 for a small 10″ x 10″ up to like $50 for a XXL sizes. I said to myself I’ll skip that for now. On to the quilting rulers section … (O_0) A small 4″ x 4″ square ruler was $11 and the 5″ x 5″ $14. I saw a square ruler that appealed to me it had a 6″ x 6″ square within say a 10″ square. Price of that ruler … $29 !!! I left the store with nothing but *NEW* needles for my sewing machines which were $3. (>u<)

I’m not saying I’m a cheap ass but not everyone has $$$ to spend on one ruler and a cutting mat. Someone should create a cheaper alternative but still give you the same quality the higher priced items would. I’ve ventured through alot of different crafts and I gotta say that Quilting has been the most expensive one so far. I have done knitting – not expensive, looming – not expensive, amigurimi – not expensive, painting – not expensive, sculpting – not expensive, holiday craft – not expensive, quilting – EXPENSIVE !!

To complete a quilt you’ll need at least, 1-2 yards of fabric in different patterns/colors … I made my 1st quilt a 8 square by 10 square so I needed 4 different types of fabric. A fat square is an option rather than buying a yard but it requires like 2-3 of each color/pattern just to make the 80 squares I needed. Then there’s the ruler to make the squares, the thread to match, the quilt batting, the yard of fabric to cover the back of your quilt, and the binding to make the nice edge around your quilt. In total everything would be like $100+ dollars.

A tip I’ve learned over the years is always search the remnant bin at the craft stores. I often times find remnants of nice fabric for like $2 for 1/2 a yard or find very sturdy fabric that I use for making grocery bags for $2-3. Sometimes I collect enough remnant scraps that I can make a nice pillow, plush toy, or other craft items. It may take a while but you can probably find enough fabric to make a quilt for under $20 it’s just the supplies you’ll need that is a pain in the butt.

A suggestion I am thinking about is Hardware store. Yes, I said Hardware store like a HomeDepot, Lowes, or DIY Hardware store. Most stores at least HomeDepot they will cut any piece of wood to your sizing. I was thinking what if you buy a heavy plywood that has some weight to it, have them cut it into a specific square size, go home sand the edges down, apply a smooth clear lacquer, and attach a dresser knob to the center of it and make your own quilting square from wood. You can spray some sort of adhesive or nail in a rubber mat on the bottom so it doesn’t slip plus if you buy a wood with some weight it probably won’t slip around on the fabric. The wood itself would probably cost like $5, a dresser knob like $1-2, and the dollar store sells gripping kitchen drawer liners which you can cut and super glue/hot glue gun to the bottom of it.

Hmmm … you know the suggestion above sounds workable. I think I will put it to the test for my quilting bloggers and see if it works at replacing the expensive plastic rulers. I’ll head to a Hardware store this weekend and create one of these wooden square rulers to put to the test if it will work just the same as a quilting square. I will definitely post pictures and results as they come. So I guess I’ll end this blog entry by saying …. TO BE CONTINUE ….

This post may be Two(2) days late but (=~=) I was lazy and forgot to post it on the actual day. Anyways for those of you who don’t know I got married on September 10, 2011 … (n__n) that’s right the date is 09-10-11 in numerical order. On November 10, 2011 we celebrated our Two(2) months Wedding Anniversary but also on the November 5th we celebrated our Relationship Anniversary. Some may think it’s weird to have Two(2) Anniversaries and some say you only get one and drop the other.

But I believe that the day you first met is just as important as the day you got married and still deserves to be celebrated just the same. I met my soulmate on August 5, 1999 and we were married on September 10, 2011. For those of you doing the math we were together for 12+ yrs. before we got married. Many married couples once they get married drop/forget their relationship anniversary date and most vaguely remember when the date was. Although the women never really forget but men often do.

In some ways I think the day you first met is more important that the day you got married. Bcuz often times many people base on how long they’ve been together by the length of their marriage when in truth they’ve most likely been together LONG before they got married. So I think it’s only fair to have to Anniversaries to celebrate ! Your Relationship Anniversary and your wedding Anniversary.

Like one of my friends believe Birthdays shouldn’t be just a one day celebration but rather a week long celebration celebrating your first week of Life rather than your first day. But I will blog about that another time. So for those of you who are married … celebrate both your Relationship Anniversary and Wedding Anniversary. As for as gift giving goes I think for Relationship Anniversaries a card, some flowers, or a stuffed animal is proper but for the Wedding Anniversary you give a little more meaningful gift.

I celebrate my Anniversaries on a Monthly basis the 10th of each month is marking my Anniversary by month. I know some just mark their Anniversary by Year and only get a gift for their Husband/Wife every year. But I think your Love flame remains ablaze when you go by Month than Year. Why just each Year remember why you Love your Husband/Wife and treat Him/Her out to a romantic dinner and get a gift ?

I understand with this tough economy we can’t always go out to a Steakhouse each month and buy a diamond pendant either. But there’s nothing wrong with just going out for Chinese and eating it via Picnic @ the Park or grab a Pizza and a bottle of Sparkling Cider and eat on a Blanket by the Beach. My Husband and I have even just shared a Soft Pretzel @ the Santa Monica pier on an Anniversary. You don’t have to break the Piggy bank or empty out your Credit Cards on a Monthly Anniversary just go out and enjoy being together. Don’t forget a camera to take pictures to freeze the moments in Time. Happy Belated Anniversary, Hubby-Bear !! <3 X0X0X0

My Step-Son was telling me about how much fun Foursquare is and how he’s reached Mayor rank. He explained to me how Foursquare works and how you check-in wherever you’re currently at and you’re given points to which you earn a badge and a rank. I didn’t find much interest in Foursquare til one day I found it in the Android Market and it’s a *FREE* app so I figured what the hey I’ll give this Foursquare thing a try. My husband was off yesterday and we always go out and about on his days-off so I decided to put the Foursquare to use and check-in @ every place we went. At the end of the day I had gotten a score of 60 and about 5 badges.

Then I started thinking … Hmm … it is a thrill to get a badge/score for every place you went but at the same time if you add friends who also have Foursquare it notifies your friend where you’re currently at or been. I’m not sure I like the idea of my friends knowing where I’m constantly at or been. If you sync it with Facebook then ALL the people on your Facebook both friends and random strangers you added will know where you’ve been and at.

Do we really want to be sharing this kinda stuff ? I mean this app might be great for insecure or over-secure parents who wants to know exactly where their kids are at or been but it seems a bit like snooping or spying on someone’s every little move. Doesn’t it fall a bit into invasion of privacy ? Of course they’ll only be able to know where you are or been if you check-in to Foursquare and you’re pretty much safe if you don’t .

Either way it’s kinda fun and long as you don’t sync with Facebook and just add Friends/Family members to your Foursquare it can probably be a fun app to have. Except if it get’s hacked and the hacker follows a celebrity on Foursquare or random people then it’s a bit creepy and scary to have.

Mini Comic created by : MYT CR8TiV ART

I am sure you’ve all heard the RUMOR that Facebook will start charging a Membership fee to use and keep your Facebook page. It’s a bunch of BULLS#!T. You believe everything that floats around the internet ? You get enraged and consider deleting/abandoning your Facebook page. Yes, the recent update was terrible decision and changed your Facebooking experience a tad but you get used to the changes. Now about Facebook charging you a membership fee in the near future. They already do that without your knowledge. What do you think you’re doing when you buy some Facebook cash to buy that cute farm house for Farmville or that adorable outfit for your Sim Social Avatar or to get you more chips to play on the Zynga poker. When you buy Facebook cash you’re paying Facebook so you can buy virtual items … such as couch you’ll never get to sit on, a dress you’ll never actually get to wear, or that adorable puppy who will never sit on your lap. So in a way Facebook charged you already long ago for those who’ve spent money for Facebook cash. Don’t be ashamed we’re all guilty of occasionally buying some. I’ll even admit to doing it once or twice. And with Facebook having BILLIONS of visitors I am sure there are those who have money to blow on Virtual items via Facebook cash that Facebook is raking in quite a nice pile of bananas. Why would they charge for a membership fee ?? They get money off advertisers, game developers who post their games onto Facebook, and the financially weak who buy Facebook cash. Quit believing everything you hear, read, or watch … FACEBOOK IS NOT GOING TO CHARGE A FEE !! When Facebook starts charging a fee to use their site … God will start charging us to breath in air.           .:  END OF SUNDAY RANT :.

My husband went to the doctor yesterday for his annual check-up and they took a blood sample from him. He came home with a bandaid on his inner elbow and my husband has a tan skin tone so that bandaid stuck out like a sore thumb which made me curious as to why they don’t have bandaids in different skin tones that just the beige color they normal come in. I’m sure online you can buy skin tone colored bandaids but why can’t they be available in every hospital, clinic, store, etc. Sometimes it’s better to conceal a bandaid boo boo if the bandaid blends in with the color of your actual skin.

PLEASE AVOID !!! Subway Store # 20906 : 5537 Sunset Blvd. Hollywood, CA 90028

I have not written in my Blog in awhile but today I have found a reason to add to my Blog. I just got back from a visit to Subway to satisfy a midnight snack craving. I tried the Pizza @ Subway and my husband ordered a 6″ inch Roast Beef sandwich on Honey Oat bread. When I told the Subway worker that I wanted the Pepperoni pizza he questioned my order by saying “Are you sure you really want the Pepperoni Pizza” ? I replied to him … “Yes, I’d like the Pepperoni pizza”. Again he says “Are you sure’ ? Again I replied “Yes, why is there something wrong with the Pepperoni Pizza” ? He didn’t answer back after that. Which should of maybe prompted me to order something else or just leave but I was craving for a Pizza.

As we waited for the Pizza and my husband’s sandwich to get toasted a transient enters the store. He stood behind my husband for a moment then asks my husband to buy him a bowl of soup. My husband told him … “Sorry man I only have enough cash for our meal”. The transient paused for a moment asked the Subway employee for a bowl of soup and the employee replied to him that it’s $2.19. The transient again this time with a little more aggression in his voice turns to my husband and asks him to again buy him a bowl of soup. My husband again repeats … “No, I’m sorry”. The transient then steps closer to my husband almost nose to nose and asks him to please buy a bowl of soup for him. The transient repeatedly harasses my husband and all the while the Subway employee just stood there building up my husband’s sandwich. I was appalled that he did not make any attempt to tell the transient that if he isn’t going to buy something that he has to leave and stop harassing customers or the cops will be called. He just stood there and I know he heard the transients repeatedly harassment to buy a bowl of soup. The transient later just left the store without bothering us any further.

We sat down to enjoy our meal and trying to forget the whole ordeal. The Subway employee also had a very bad attitude and wasn’t friendly at all. He didn’t seem like he wanted to serve you and you were more bothering him or annoying him. But we tried to enjoy our after-hour snack. I went to refill my 12 oz. drink when a cockroach scurried across the beverage machine. I got more ice and refilled  my beverage. I reached to grab a new straw only to find a pack of cockroaches hanging out/crawling around the beverage caps, straws, coffee stirrers, sugar packets, creamer, etc. I threw my drink away, finished up whatever food I had left, and we got the heck outta there.

This Subway location is open 24 hours but with cockroaches scurrying freely about it shouldn’t be open at all. I can’t imagine or probably can picture that sooner or later a cockroach is going to be crawling around the Subway sandwich ingredients as the workers often turned their backs and walked into the back room of the store. I am definitely NOT going to this Subway again and advise EVERYONE to please avoid this Subway store.

Well, I said in my previous post that I will update regarding how I’m feeling. All I can say is I know I’m depressed cuz last night was a sleepless one. All I did was toss and turn acting like a kid with ADD I was restless doing one thing or another trying to burn off my energy and fall asleep. In the end I did get some sleep but when I woke up I was still depressed. I don’t know what the plans are for the upcoming wedding. I haven’t canceled anything, YET ! But I did contact the chapel to let them now of a possible cancellation as well as notifying guests via Facebook of the possible cancellation.

All I can say is I just feel emotionless and numb inside like I can’t feel anything. You could probably stab me and I wouldn’t feel it just say Ow and still have this empty look on my face. I just feel completely lost ! I’ve lost everything. I don’t know who I am anymore, why I’m here on Earth, What is my purpose in Life, I don’t know what do to or where to go next down this Journey called Life.

At times I just lay in bed and feel as if I’m falling deep into the never-ending universe. I feel as if my Soul has left my body and I’m just a zombie or Lifeless doll. Sometimes I feel like I’m bleeding inside and slowly my body is filling up with the emptiness with the blood that spurts out of my Lifeless heart. A heart that no longer pumps for anyone … A heart that no longer is full of ambition … A heart that once held dreams and goals … is now just a heart pumping just to keep me alive.

I look in the mirror and blankly stare at the reflection that is looking back at me. I touch the reflection gently caressing the person staring back at me wondering what happened to me. Where’s that cheerful girl who had no cares in the world and was full of Life, Dreams, Ambition, and passion for living. Where’s the happy person that everyone knew and Loved ? Who is this person that is looking bad at me. I don’t know this person. I don’t recognize the face, the tears, and the darkness that surrounds it.If I think back to the person I once was. I picture rainbows, puffy clouds, smiling faces, and a Carebear Care-a-lot like environment. But the person I see now lives in a Dark world with Death, Sadness, and a River of Tears.

Last night when I finally did get to sleep I had a dream that I was on a raft drifting down the River of Stix where I saw all the Loved ones who’ve passed. I got off the raft and started climbing a steep cliff where they were sitting around a bonfire laughing and having a great time. I yearned to join them but no matter how much I climbed I never got any higher or near them. It was endless ! I remember sitting on a rock being taunted by their laughter and joy as I sat alone in the dark. I looked up at the night sky only to see the stars and a blood red-moon bleeding tears of sadness.

Some might say my dream was the work of Satan bcuz I’m currently in a vulnerable state. I’ve tried since my Sophmore year of High School after being invited to a Christian fellowship club to go from a person with no religion to a Christian but I’m beginning to lose faith or more or less give up faith. There’s no God … I know they said believe in him and he will believe in you guiding you to enter his kingdom. No matter what I did I felt God never hears me. People say pray and your prayers will be answered. I’ve prayed for others as well as myself. Others would get their prayers answer and mine were always ignored.

Before my blah-blah blog update becomes as long as a Harry Potter book let me just say that things have not changed. I’m becoming more and more depressed. I keep saying to myself tomorrow will be a better day and with time my depression will pass. Usually that is the case but it seems this time it’s going to linger for an unknown amount of time. My future is uncertain and I don’t know what I want in Life anymore. Just like my previous posting title … I just don’t know anymore. I’m Lost and feeling empty, alone, and darkness is all I see. It’s like I’m living in Epic Mickey. I need Mickey to come by with his paint brush and bring color back into my Life. WHERE ARE YOU MICKEY !!!

I’ve been with the same person for 12 yrs. and I still don’t know if this is it for me. Maybe bcuz I’m 29 and we’ve got a 12-13 yr. age gap between us. Maybe there’s still more people I’d like to date and more to Life that I wanna experience. But I should know by now if he is the one I want to spend the rest of my Life with. I mean 12 freakin’ years ?? We’ve already passed a decade together. Maybe he’s right ? Maybe I am no different than his ex-wife ? He constantly compared me to her throughout our entire relationship and 47 days away from taking the BIGGEST step in ones Life and walking down the aisle I just got lost. As the title says … I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know who I am, who I’ve become, where I’m heading in Life, what my future has to hold, I just don’t know. That small sentence … those five(5) simple words have been my answer to everything these past few days … I JUST DON’T KNOW ANYMORE !

Do you Love him and want to spend the rest of your Life with him ? I Just Don’t Know Anymore !

Do you think you’ll make a good wife ? I think so, but honestly I just don’t know Anymore.

Do you still want to be in this relationship ? I think I know the answer but I just don’t know anymore !!

I think the stress of the Wedding has just led me to a nervous breakdown where I just wanna cancel everything and say FUCK IT !! part of me says “Forget it ! I don’t wanna get married anymore.” But the other part of me says “Noooo … you’ve come this far, planned this much, and bought so much for the wedding you can’t turn back now.” But honestly I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know if I still wanna get married or ever wanna get married at all. I don’t know what I’m doing or what I’m thinking. I just don’t know !! Seriously I am at a point where I want to put a gun to my head, pull the trigger hoping that the bullet hits me right, and puts me outta misery. I don’t know what I want. I used to know or at least I think I used to. But now everything is just a blur and my Life is swirling like I’m a piece of poo being flushed in a toilet. I am completely lost ! What I want and need right now is complete and utter loneliness. I wish there was a magic closet or box I can hide in to think about my Life and what I want from it cuz right now I don’t know anything. *Takes a Deep Breath* Maybe I should get some sleep. It is 6am and I haven’t gone to bed at all, yet. I think I’ll get some rest and see if maybe when I wake up I will know what I want. I shall post back later then. G’Morning to everyone on my side of the globe – G’Night to everyone on the other side of the globe. Am I going to be sleeping next to someone I’m going to/want to spend the rest of my Life with … I just don’t know anymore.