I always thought that when people say I hate my In-Law that was just a fad or a temporary spat that made people use such a harsh word towards someone who’s kinda now your family member. But as I’ve stated in previous bloggings I am getting married in September. Now that I am soon 2B wed I have seen the that hating In-Laws isn’t just a fad but starting to believe that EVERY marriage has a in-law they dislike whether it’s the Mother-in-law, Brother-in-law, Sister-in-law, etc.
In my situation I am currently disliking my own Mother and a soon 2B Brother-in-Law. I won’t use the word Hate bcuz it’s such a harsh word and should only be used on rare situations. This blog post today is mainly a Vent-Rant posting. So the reason I am disliking my Mom is she has done nothing but put me down since I was born. Never really supported me throughout my Life and support was something I really needed being I’m disabled in every way possible … Physically, Learning, Emotionally, Mentally, and a little developmentally. I just learned to find support from others and since I don’t make friends easily I often found support in imaginary friends/stuffed animals. But that story is for another Blog entry.
My Mom is from Japan and grew up in a different generation with different traditions and customs. Her views that a wife is expected to do is cook, clean, and care for your husband. Pretty much she believes you are to worship the ground your husband walks, vacuum the ground he walks, bow your head to him, be his slave, and do his bidding. She thinks I cannot fit the shoes of a wife. She doesn’t feel I can cook, clean, and keep my husband happy. You don’t have to wait on your husband hand and foot to keep him happy. There’s no such thing as a Perfect wife or Perfect husband. Besides a Marriage should not be based on whether she can cook, clean, or be your slave.
Marriage should be based on Love, Communication, Understanding, and Compassion. Alot of marriages fail bcuz lack of Love, Communication, and Understanding. Either Husband doesn’t communicate with his wife or a Wife doesn’t understand the needs of her husband. I think a marriage would go stale if your Husband comes home from work, says I’m home, walks to change into home clothes, grabs a beer, and plops on a couch for TV. Total lack of communication ! He should come home from work, wife should greet him ask him how his day was, help him change out of his work clothes, prepare a snack, and chat about how each others day went. My fiance and I talk like we’re Best Friends we never run out of things to talk about. Never a dull moment in our Lives since the 11+ yrs. we’ve been together. It’s gonna officially be 12 years together on August 5th. (n_n)
My next part of my Vent is regarding his brother *my soon 2B in-law*. Most of his family are requesting time off to attend the wedding but his brother said “I cannot attend the wedding bcuz I have to work”. We told him you still have plenty of time to request time off so you can attend. Our wedding is going to be held in Las Vegas. We assumed maybe they just don’t have the funds to make a weekend trip to Las Vegas. But obviously that’s not the case as they recently took a trip to Las Vegas for pleasure.
So I have now experienced the dislike people have towards in-laws. Hopefully over time we can see passed our differences and past experiences/Life to treasure the present time. As the quote exactly states … “Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, Thats why it’s called the Present” Hope they’ll change their minds and attend the wedding event and Mom will quite judging/criticizing me like I’m a failure and a soon 2B bad wife.