Hello, everyone ! I’ve been very active here on my PsychoBabblesBlog. What is this my 3rd or 4th post in a row now ? Anyways today’s babble is about Equality. If you live in the US you’ll know that we’re currently fighting for the equality of the LGBT community. It’s a tug-a-war topic as there are those who oppose it and those who support it. But since we’re on the topic of equality what about equality for others besides just the LGBT community ? What about the equality of disabled people ? I myself am physically disabled and have been all my Life. I can tell you there are many inequalities that I have experienced through my 30 *soon to be 31* years of existence.
One of the inequalities that I share with the LGBT community is also marriage. Before marriage I was receiving SSI *Supplemental Security Income* it was my only source of income and after I got married it was taken away. Revoke on the count that my Husband can now support me so I don’t need SSI or Social Security’s financial assistance. I begged, pleaded, and appealed several times to keep my SSI as it was my only source of income and I had personal debts that were obtained previous to marriage that my Husband had nothing to do with nor responsible for. But they didn’t care !
On top of getting my SSI revoked they said they’ve overpaid me for the past few months and that I have to pay back that over payment. The amount totaled close to $6,000 !! How do they expect me to pay back almost $6,000 when they took away my only source of income ? I truly feel that this is another case of inequality towards the disabled people. I think that it is unfair that a disabled person should have their disability incomes revoked bcuz they got married. Disability income should be based on a person’s disability not marital status.
My husband has personal debts of his own that he obtained prior to marriage that he’s trying to pay off and unable to pay for my debts on top of his own. So my debts are piling up being left unpaid bcuz I have no money to pay them with !! I have pleaded with Social Security to please return my SSI income even ½ of what I was previously getting but they shut the door and kicked me to the curb like I was a homeless person asking for food in a McDonald’s.
I’m a supporter for this whole equality race of the LGBT community but I feel left out bcuz what about my equality as a disabled person ? Sure, the LGBT community might get a break if Prop 8 is thrown out and they’re given the rights to marry. But I’ve struggled with inequality as a disabled person all my Life. There’s no break for me ! I’ve struggled and continue to struggle every day of my Life til I take my last breath.
Inequality “Unfair treatment” and Discrimination are two of the things I’ve been constantly dealt with but I know that not only I as a disabled person but many people non-disabled as well have felt the pain of Inequality and discrimination bcuz of their race, religion, color of their skin, etc. Equality shouldn’t just be for the LGBT people but for everybody ! Everyone deserves equality but sadly for some like myself it’s just not gonna happen.
I was born with a disability and since I was 16 have been trying to get a job but again inequality has once again smacked me across the face as every employer I have submitted applications to and had interviews with denied/refused to hire me. One what basis or reason for not hiring me ? Not a single legitimate reason. I was always given an excuse ! Whether it was … Oh we’re current not hiring *Even though they have an ad saying they are*, currently we don’t have anything available for you but we’ll call to let you know if something opens up *yet, there’s a line of applicants sitting outside waiting for their interview*, etc. I have heard every excuse in the Employers book of excuses. No one seems to see passed my disability and give me a chance.
Another story for my book of inequality as a disabled person. Everyone lives a hard life and I hate when people say to me … Life isn’t fair ! You do not know what unfair is unless you’ve lived in my shoes nor do you know what a hard life is until you lived my Life. If it were possible to live in another persons shoes you would be in a mental hospital or dead from suicide if you lived in my shoes. I admit I have attempted suicide twice ! That’s one time too many bcuz the inequalities of Life have become too great to bear anymore.
Not being able to get a job bcuz I’m disabled … struggling through Life everyday just makes you feel worthless, useless, and a failure. Like you fail at everything you do in Life ! Having attempted suicide twice kinda tells you I even failed at that bcuz I’m still alive ain’t I ? But I try to change my views and try to avoid thinking about suicide ever again but sometimes you just wanna give up when you’re trying to live in a world where being different alienates you from the rest of the world.
We live in such a shallow minded world that even the slightest difference in a person can prevent them from making any friends or from fitting in and feeling accepted by others. Even though we’re both human beings, we both have a beating heart, we both breathe the same oxygen, and look no different just a slight flaw and we instantly become outcasts. I can tell you from experience that my disability has made social interactions a unknown realm to me and still is til this very day.
Thanxs to the internet I was able to make some friends. Some closer than others but these are all still invisible friends to me. I don’t really consider these online friends … friends. I’ll never meet them in person and only interact with them through a computer screen. So technically I still consider myself a loner with no friends. Sadly I can’t even consider my husband my friend. I guess you can say being disabled and mistreated all my Life has created this wall of isolation so to speak where I block out the outer world that hurts me to prevent me from continually further getting hurt from the world that even my own husband is block out.
When will I ever experience the equality, acceptance, respect, and treatment that would let me tear down these isolating walls and feel confident that I will not get hurt ever again. To feel true Love from human kind and know that I am human and not this alien from outer space or someone of a totally different species than that of the homo sapiens AKA human beings. Am I not human ? What makes you feel that I am not ? That I still do not understand.
When I look in a mirror I don’t see an inhuman monster or creature from another planet. I see what you see if you were to look into a mirror. A face with two eyes, a nose, a mouth, two ears, lips that grin and smile but in my mirror my lips rare if ever grin and smile. In my mirror I see the facial expression of Eeyore … very melancholy, blue, sad, and permanently frowning. My facial expression both inside and outside are what they are bcuz the world’s inequality and being alienated for so many years. I will only smile and truly feel free from the isolation walls that I surround myself in when I leave this world to enter another. The other world called Heaven that many hope to go when they leave this world.
But all I can say is equality shouldn’t just be a battle for the LGBT people but for all people ! ALL OF HUMANITY DESERVE EQUALITY !! And when you see a disabled person don’t ignore them. Offer them help if they need it. Open the door for a person in a wheelchair or offer them help. Don’t just stare at them or act like they do not exist. All my Life I’ve gotten stares before and after I started using a wheelchair. And Parents please raise your children to know that there are people in the world who might be different than them and that even if they are different they do not deserve to be mistreated, bullied, teased, or tormented. They should be respected equally ! Teach your children the golden rule … DO ONTO OTHERS AS YOU WANT DONE TO YOU.
I can’t tell you how many times in my Life that children have followed me around a store making fun of the way I walk, teased me, stared at me like I’m a zoo animal on display while parents nearby never say a word to correct their behaviors or teach them that I am also human like them. These are the children who grow up to become the adults who alienate me and treat me like I am not human. So as you fight in support or opposition of the LGBT equality … Please, fight and support the equality of all people !! If we can achieve equality for all people then and then only can we become a humane world and learn to coexist in peace.