Good Morning and TGIF “Thank God It’s Friday” !! So many students are headed back to school in the upcoming days and some have already started. I wanted to look back on my school years and share my experiences with you. Maybe you will learn something from it or relate to back when you were in school ?
School for me was never easy. (-__-) I don’t think I have much if any fond memories from my years in school. I was always more or less the Meg Griffin of my school. Didn’t have any friends and bullying was always something that I was the target of. Being physically disabled I was always treated differently from the other kids. I had acquaintances or people who occasionally came to talk to me but I never considered them friends. When it came to friends I had maybe one or two but even they couldn’t truly be considered friends.
Even now as a grown adult I don’t have any friends. More or less my only friend is my husband but even him I don’t really consider a friend. My one true friend is a friend I never met in person. He’s my online BFF and we’ve been friends for many years. It was through him that I found what true friendship really was and felt like. Growing up in school I often went home in tears or dreaded having to go back there bcuz of the bullying, teasing, torment, and loneliness.
Teachers don’t seem to be much of a help when it came to the bullying. Often times their excuse was … Oh ignore them, sweetie ! They bully you bcuz they don’t feel good about themselves. So they pick on others to make themselves feel good. (T~T) That is the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard. Children’s behavior all start with the parents ! Now this my evoke angry in some parents but it’s just my opinion and truth. When you bring a child into this world it is your responsibility as a parent to raise them with morals and to respect others. Compassion isn’t something you are born with but more or less it’s something you learn.
As a kid in school I often believed the teachers saying that bullies just do what they do bcuz they’re not happy with themselves and wanna drag others down with them. But truth is they most likely need help. Maybe they’re getting abused at home that’s making them act out towards others. Maybe they live in a abusive home and they think it’s okay to hurt others bcuz it happens in their home.
Teachers need to stop making excuses and telling people to ignore the bullies bcuz they’re just not happy with themselves and just leave it at that. Bullying/Negative Behavior is generally a cry for help and that there is something going on with them that they need help with. I really don’t believe that bullying is something you are born with or that there really is such a thing as a bad person. I think we’re all born good but like fruit when freshly picked off the tree it’s perfect and good but over time it can rot by the elements around it such as heat, moisture, etc. I’m sure you understand my metaphor.
I went through so much bullying from K through 12 and in a way it’s molded me into the person I am today. I think my greater and deeper understanding, compassion, and views of people was obtained from all the bullies I’ve ever encountered. I got to know a bully once and became their friend. It turned out they were acting the way they did bcuz they were pretty much in the same boat I was. He didn’t have any friends bcuz he was a little burly and tough looking, his parents were getting a divorce, and he had trouble learning. His pent up frustrations were released via bullying.
Once I waved my white flag in surrender and attempted to become his friend than his daily hunted. We got the chance to see we’re not really that different and his demeanor changed. He stopped bullying others and became the really cool kid. (-__-) Sadly once he became Mr. Popular I was back to being friend-less and he acted like he never knew me. But just bcuz one bully changed his ways doesn’t mean my days of being bullied came to an end.
I have a learning disability and more or less I was always in the slow kids class AKA Special Ed which made bullying even more harsh. So many short bus jokes even though I never rode the short bus. I think bullying stems from lack of understanding. They make fun, tease, and bully things they don’t/can’t understand nor do they wanna give the person a chance. If all my bullies took the chance to get to know me they wouldn’t bully me.
But the most painful memory of all my school years is when at the end of the year my class takes a trip to an Amusement park like Knotts Berry Farm, Disneyland, Magic Mountain, etc. To me those trips were the most painful of all as I watched classmates smile and laugh in groups while I rode amusement rides alone and walked the amusement park alone. I wasn’t invited into a group until someone noticed me riding alone and felt sorry for me. I’d tag along with them but either way I felt outta place and generally found an excuse to return to my solitary self.
I was always the awkward kid and often times center of rumors as well. I have heard every rumor you can think of. Also false rumors are spread with me being the starter so I’ve often times had confrontations from angry strangers saying things like WTF have you been spreading rumors that I’m a slut ? I don’t even know these people to even spread rumors about them nor would I ever. But I’ve gotten death threats, threats to having my A$$ kicked, etc.
I’ll be honest it wasn’t until my High school years that I started carrying a pocket knife in my backpack bcuz the threats became more real that just words. I’ve turned to adults/school staff for help but all they’ve ever given me is excuses like again the excuse of ignore them and they’ll leave you alone. They just want attention or ignore them bcuz they aren’t happy with themselves so they wanna drag people down with them. (>D<) Saying these things doesn’t exactly help stop the bullying or make them any better.
(T^T) To be honest High School had to be my toughest school years ever. My bullies even became teachers who bullied me. (-__-) My counselor was constantly switching my classes bcuz the teachers were bullying me. One teacher in particular was my Art teacher. I can’t recall her name but Art is one of my favorite school subjects next to English. I am a pretty avid artist but far from Pro. But my teacher seem to love always pulling out my artwork from the batches of artwork done by others and pointing out every flaw to the entire class.
I have even confronted her about it and she denied any wrong doing. I told her I am not a professional artist. My art is never going to be perfect or to your standards nor would any of these other students but I really don’t appreciate you pointing over every imperfection in my artwork each and every time. Her reply was I’m not doing that. When have I ever taken your artwork and pointed out the flaws ? I seriously thought OMG are you for real ? The class laughed when she pointed out that the eye on my cat drawing was a tad bigger than the other. She called my cat sketch retarded and off centered.
But she wasn’t the only bullying teacher. I came across many others that were just like her. I’m glad that my schooling years are over. I do sometimes think about going back to school “College” to study something but I fear repeating the horrible school life I’ve endured all over again. The newer gens are lucky bcuz with the technology they now have things like online schools where you can just study at home through place like K12.com or ConnectionsAcademy.com which offer online schooling for K-12th grade.
But at the same time studying in school online instead of a school campus doesn’t help your social skills develop as you won’t make any friends or socialize since you’re studying in the comfort of your own room. It might of been a better option for someone like me who doesn’t have friends or has difficulty socializing but I have to say even those my memories of school were mostly negative there were a small handful of happy memories that I otherwise wouldn’t of experienced if I were doing online schooling.
So when you’re in school be friends with the little people. There’s nothing wrong with being friends with the oddball, outcast, weird one, or special kids. You’ll never know just how much your friendship means to someone who doesn’t make friends easily or is often times a loner and by themselves. Go up to them and say Hello. Bullying can end just by showing some compassion and offering your hand in friendship.