I am sure that many of you have read about the addictive properties of Caffeine. Caffeine is like the #1 consumed beverage additive in the world with daily Coffee drinkers, tea, energy drinks, sodas, etc. We’ve all at one point probably experienced the withdraw symptoms you feel after the caffeine exits your system. The Migraine headache, jitters, shaky hands, etc. I haven’t drank caffeinated sodas in a long time … well, at least not often maybe once in a blue moon. But recently I started back on hitting the bottles. It started with one bottle of Shasta Cola as a treat. Then another then another then I was constantly craving for a bottle of cola whether it’d be the Shasta Cola, Pepsi, Cherry Pepsi, Cherry Coke, and I’ve even started liking Coke when before I hated it bcuz of the heavy sugary feeling left in you mouth.
I knew I was falling back into my soda addiction but it just felt so damn good to pop open a bottle of the fizzy brown concoction and enjoy the tingle of the carbonation bubbles as I drink it down. I had spiraled back into my addiction. Always looking and wanted a bottle of it every minute that ticked by. But in my current financial state I’m not always able to buy the delicious fizzy delights. With the help of my Mom I was able to snag some pocket money which I am saving for final items for a commissioned art project. But I badly wanted a caffeinated cola last night. The craving was so raving mad that I couldn’t focus and all I wanted to do was raid a 7-11 and grab a cart full of soda pop.
I was saying to myself it wouldn’t hurt if I spent just $1 of the $10 in my pocket to buy a bottle of coke. I mean I’d still have $9 left, right ? (-_-) Being I don’t drive I asked my husband last night if he could drive me to the local 99 ¢ents store or 7-11 to grab a soda. He said “No, save your money for it’s actual purpose”. Now what I’m about to say next may or may not get me into some trouble but I just want to share what the force of caffeine can cause. So last night my husband said No to going on a cola run. I begged and pleaded but his answer was still No. I got up and got a glass of water instead hoping this craving would just pass but it just kept nagging at me to the breaking point. I asked again and still the answer was NO !
I literally felt like I was gonna snap if I didn’t have a coke in my hand. I tried snacking on saltine crackers, toast with grape jelly, and cups and cups of water later I still could not shake this craving. I asked my husband … Please, Please, PLEASE let me go buy a bottle of coke ? His answer still was NO. And that’s when the caffeine addiction caused me to psychotically snap. *Sigh* I punched my husband in the face hitting his eye. He ran upstairs cursing at me that I freakin’ hit his eye. I literally sat there in my chair in complete and utter shock thinking to myself … What the F**k did I just do ? Did I seriously just punch my husband in the face ? (o~O) I just sat there still as a scarecrow in shock.
I’d never hurt anyone ever nor have I ever hurt anyone physically ! Be it I might of hurt a few people emotionally but either they were deserving of it and I’m human !! But physically … never NEVER EVER hit anyone or physically hurt anyone in my entire Life ! I grabbed a mirror and looked at myself wondering … WHO THE F**K ARE YOU ? So many thought swirled through my head like debris swirling in a tornado. I was thinking of just getting in my car and driving til I ran outta gas. Who cares where I was going or what I was doing I just wanted to get away. But then I remembered I don’t have a license to drive. I then thought maybe I should get in my wheelchair and roll myself down to the local police station and turn myself in. Tell him … I just punched my husband in the face. I am turning myself in as I physically assaulted him. I literally just lost it and couldn’t fathom what could of pushed me so far to even do such a thing.
My husband has said No to be before and I was used to being told NO as it was something I’m always being told all throughout my Life. Wanna be my friend ? NO ! Wanna go to the dance with me ? NO ! Can I join you guys ? NO ! Wanna be my study partner ? NO ! No No NO. Those two letters of the alphabet always taunted me all my Life. Then two other letters in my Life replaced the N and the O which was U and I as in my husband and I but here I had punched the U in the face and for what ? Caffeine ? Last nights incident really opened my eyes about how true it was when doctors compared caffeine to drugs and that it’s no different than doing meth or cocaine and that they are equally addictive and dangerous to our health.
I suppose maybe being away from soda for so long made it easier to fall back onto it but all I can say is NO MORE CAFFEINE SODAs for me. I’m afraid that the next time it won’t be just a punch in the face and be a more worse and serious action that I will truly regret. Maybe I’m just psycho ? Mentally unwell ? Bcuz even though I apologized for punching my husband in the face a part of me isn’t sorry which can only result to me having some sort of unresolved issue and requiring mental evaluation and help. Who knows maybe after all the Sh!t that’s thrown at me in my 31 yrs. of Life I’ve finally cracked and got no marbles left. No more saying I think I’ve lost some marbles. Could it be that the entire freakin’ bag of marbles is empty and all that left is an empty psychotic sack ?
Some of you might find this post hilarious and laugh at it but I just wanted to blog about it to warn you about the dangers of caffeinated drinks. It might push you over the edge as well ! You’re okay if you get it in a steady stream like those who drink coffee every morning or pop open a cola everyday but if you take breaks from it or drink on irregular basis it’ll eat you up from the inside and you might take the phrase I’ll kill for a soda literally. AVOID CAFFEINE !! AVOID THE SODA POP !!