So some ugly parts of me decided to rear it’s ugly head recently and my Life had spiraled out of control. My inner demons had cornered me to the edge of a cliff and the only option was the battle them or jump off to my death. I was seriously ready to jump off as I felt I wasn’t strong enough to battle them on my own.
Everyone goes through dark points in their life and everyone has skeletons in their closet that they prefer not to share with anyone. Sometimes when you reach a really dark point in your Life those skeletons come to Life and haunt you to the point where you just wanna end it all. I was there at that point where I was really ready to just throw in my towel and leave this Earth and Life.
But the darkness had blinded me from seeing the beauty that is around me that makes Life so worth living. I have a wonderful Husband who loves me, a family who cares about me even though they don’t exactly show it, friends who truly are more than just friends … True Friends, and one Best Friend or BFF as the younger peeps call it that would move mountains for me.
The darkness that had consumed me really did blot out my sunshine and blindfolded me from seeing all that I had in my Life that’s of worth. But what really returned the sunshine into my Life was God. I was seeing bits and pieces of his reminder that I am worthy of living on. I had deleted ALL my Facebook friends but that doesn’t mean you deleted ALL the pages your Liked.
There were messages being posted by Pastor Joel and Victoria Osteen that were bulls eye hits straight to my heart. It was as if they were Facebook messages from God to remind me that I am not alone in the battle with my demons. Life was still difficult but slowly things started to gain light and the darkness was slowly fading away.
My husband and I started cleaning out the house and gave a lot of things away to Goodwill. Things we’ve been holding onto that were cluttering our brains, our home, our spirit, our chi, and our lives. While cleaning out the house I came across the book *pictured above*. It was given to us by a dear friend and I’ll admit I’m not a reader and honestly don’t like reading books. But this book enticed me to read it. I had read it once before but didn’t finish. I got half way through and said Meh … I don’t wanna read no more.
My 2nd time around was different. This book has really giving me a sense of purpose now and I think *at least hope* my darkness days are behind me and all I’ll see in Sunshine and dwell in all the beauty that is around me. It was God who held me under his arm and protected me from my demons who were chasing me into darkness and hopelessness. Without the Love and Protection of God I would not be here today. So I honestly believe when they say God Loves you and will go all lengths for you. He truly will and I believe it !!
Thank you, Father for saving me and showing me that I am worthy of Life. I know I still have a long way to go before I reach complete internal happiness with myself and my Life but I know with you I will get there. Thank you, Lord for always being my guiding light when all I see is darkness. Thank you !