The What ifs of Death …

Talking about Death even the what if is never a pleasant topic but my husband and I talked about it this afternoon. Lately he’s been complaining about feeling ill and like all men he’s stubborn to go see a Doctor and get checked out. I lost my father due to this male oriented stubborn-ness. My Dad was not feeling well but put off seeing a doctor until his feelings of not being well got worse and worse. When he finally did go see a doctor he was told he has the final stage of Liver cancer and passed away a few months later.

I said to my husband you wanna be where my Father is ? Between me my Mom has three(3) children all adults and one grandchild. So when my Father passed my Mom had her two(2) eldest children to care for her. My husband and I do not have any children just two(2) dogs who are to me my children. The thought of what might happen to me if my husband were to die just makes me shudder. Being physically disabled and having lived dependent to co-dependent on others all my Life I just can’t comprehend living on my own.

Sure, my husband has money squared away for things like this but  my mentality just can’t see myself happily living in a apartment alone and doing fine. I see myself wandering the streets as a homeless person or just a wandering soul until my time comes to reunite with my loved ones who’ve gone ahead of me. Death is surely never a pleasant thing to talk about but it’s truly something that I feel should be discussed at one time in your Life. Life is short and you never know when Death would come knocking at your door or tap you in the shoulder so it’s always best to be discussed no matter how uncomfortable the topic is.

To me I’m not afraid of death as I’ve been dead from the moment I entered this earth. I don’t really see myself as alive but rather just a soul wandering this earth for a purpose, reason, and calling.

Negative Monday ? (⌐~⌐)

1439Happy Monday !! Monday is the least liked days of the week. But don’t worry it’s almost over at least for me as it’s just about 3pm *My time*. *sigh* (=~=) California is currently going through a heatwave so it’s SUPER hot today. I think it’s somewhere in the lines of 92º which isn’t as hot as other parts can get which is well over the 100º’s. But anything about 70º for me is HOT !!

So what I’m blah-blah-blogging about today is negative comments. I think I wrote in my previous post about a negative comment on a Amazon product review I wrote. Well, I got another negative comment regarding another Amazon product review I wrote. Again the commenter was stupid in my opinion … jumping to conclusions without getting the facts and being quick to judge someone.

I’m not going to go into the details of this comment or the product I reviewed but I’m more and more losing faith in humanity. We’re becoming more and more idiotic and stupid. We’re quick to judge and make comments/judgements without getting the facts. Quick to flap our gums and just the World seems like it’s on Fast Forward and is speeding by too fast.

People are speeding and zig-zagging on the freeways and surface streets, people dart across the streets where there are crosswalks few feet away, and nobody has compassion no more. There are a few rare people who still hold doors for the elderly or anyone for the matter and still give you spaces to get into a lane or allow you to go first at a stop sign.

But more or less you often get honked at, given dirty looks, or on some occasions yelled at through a car window from driving at the speed limit. People need to slow down and that’s not just on the road but in every aspect of Life. Slow down and think before you post a comment on someone’s blog, Facebook post, or anywhere online. Your quick second thinking and click of that mouse to submit the comment can be hurtful and hurt someone or do damage that cannot be fixed.

So before you judge that teen Mom walking her baby … think first. Do you really think she is a slut and got pregnant ? How do you know she wasn’t raped and decided to keep the baby ? How do you even know she’s a single mother ? She might have a decent job, a nice home, and a loving husband. Love happens at any age ! THINK FIRST !! I often get people who whisper judge me behind my back for being in a wheelchair. I hear things like I bet she’s faking it to get disability and she’s not disabled. Sure, I can get out of my wheelchair and walk a short distance but who are you to judge ? FYI *For Your Information* I’m not receiving any disability income or assistance. I was previously but after I got married they were revoked due to my husband’s income and resources.

Just THINK before you press enter and send that comment or open your mouth. Nobody has the right to judge anyone but the Lord up above. Before you point that finger to judge someone else Life point it at yourself and Judge yourself first.

Trial and Error


Hey, everyone !! How was your Labor Day weekend ? Mine was pretty relaxed and calm which isn’t anything *new*. Today I was motivated to blog about TRIAL and ERROR. What motivated me to blog about this is a comment I received on a review I wrote on for the Spirograph Deluxe kit. The comment was sorta on the negative side regarding me saying that the product requires a bit of Trial and Error before you get it going.

The dictionary defines Trial and Error as … a finding out of the best way to reach a desired result or a correct solution by trying out one or more ways or means and by noting and eliminating errors or causes of failure; also :  the trying of one thing or another until something succeeds.

Here’s the copy of the comment that I received on Amazon :

Angecan says:

I appreciate all your tips, but why should anyone have to go through so much trial and error? What kind of a present does this make for a kid? “It’s going to be really frustrating at first, and you’ll be so happy when you finally get somewhere but then you’ll suddenly ruin your drawing — many, many, many times — but just hang in there.”

My reply to her comment was this :

It’s a form of encouragement !! Most children at least from my experience when gifted a toy or game that is difficult to play with quickly lose interest in that toy and it just ends up dusting on a shelf or thrown into a closet. Teaching your children about Trial and Error is also a gift in itself as you are teaching the child a Life lesson. Life in itself is all about trial and error. We try things and fail but we don’t give up ! We just keep on trying and try a different method til we do succeed. If you just wanna give a present to a kid that doesn’t require trial and error and is so simple get them a box of crayons. Every Video Game and toy requires some bit of trial and error. Legos require trial and error before you create the product in the instructions, Video games require lots of trial and error before you finish the game. My post was a form of encouragement to not give up and just keep practicing as you’ll learn to get better and it will become easier with time. Children learn that and they’ll carry it with them for Life learning that when things in Life get tough just keep trying and it’ll get better. No offense but your reply was kinda dumb. I’m sure you have gone through many trial and error in your Life. “Why should anyone have to go through so much trial and error ?” Because that is Life and we learn from the errors and continue to try. That goes with products too. You buy a product and try it to figure out if it’s a good product or junk “Trial and Error”.

So her comment is what in turn motivated me to write about Trial and Error. Life is about Trial and Error !! We try and fail … We learn from that mistake or some repeat it before they learn from it … then we try a different method and just keep trying til’ we succeed. Trial and Error is a life lesson that should be taught at a very young age. I would suggest toddler years but often times Trial and Error is just learned naturally !! For example … when we’re a infant just learning to walk. You fall down but you get right back up to try again and again til you become more steady and soon you’re running to and from your Mom. That is a natural form of Trial and Error.

I should of said that the commenter’s reply was dumb but it surely shows that the world is seeming to lack wisdom and intelligence. People just don’t think anymore and say and do things that aren’t quite smart. Then when faced with the consequences of their dumbed down thinking … they ask themselves “WTF was I thinking” ? People please think deeper and speak from the heart and soul and not just your minds. The world needs more people with compassion and caring. So think from the heart and soul before you speak or comment something to someone.

Random Psycho-Emotional Babble …

Sometimes I just wish there was a magic pill, drink, fruit, or vegetable to eat that just makes you numb from feeling. I’m tired of caring about what other people think or say about me. It’s easy to say then don’t. But deep down inside I will always care and obsess over something one person said or thinks.

I will never be a better person or a positive person bcuz I admit I thrive off negativity. I always search for true happiness but it’ll never be found bcuz I can never be happy. Happiness sprouts from within and I will always be a unhappy person. No matter the love I get from my husband or children or family, friends, whoever … you will never be happy unless you are happy from the inside.

I can get all the surgery in the world to lose weight and be slim, pay thousands to get the perky breasts I once had in high school, or the slim waist and muscular build I had … but I will still be physically disabled and miserable. Sure, now I’m sexy on the outside but inside I am still wretched and miserable. I know for certain that my Eulogy is not gonna start with she was always happy and smiling. I am gonna die a very sad and miserable person.

Sure, you can say well, why don’t you make changes to become a happier person. No, it’s not in my DNA and is not possible to make this frown turn upside down. The world continues to live on as I wish to just hide in a dungeon or cave never to show my face ever again. I really wish I can just mysteriously disappear and see if anyone cares to look for me or wonder where I’ve gone too.

But in my misery Life continues to tick forward and there’s no way I can stop it from ceasing to exist. I must put on my mask and act happy and content whatever that is. So let me dry my tears and put back the mask I wear everyday and duct tape the cracks that appear on my already shattered soul and live another day, week, month, year in my false hope of happiness. Life must go on and as Frozen is well known for now … LET IT GO !!!


Life begins with I …


Happy Friday !! Hope you have something positive planned for the weekend. Lately I’ve been feeling a bit down and blue which is why I write this blog topic today to help encourage others. I am a very emotionally sensitive person and one of my bad habits is letting others get to me. I always have issues with caring about what others think or say about me. I cannot take criticism very well or even a single negative comment. Two of my very sensitive personal issues is my weight and my disability. If you want to hurt me just jab those two weak points.

My husband and I are planning on taking a vacation for our 3 yr. Wedding Anniversary and vacations to me always mean a swim in the pool. I haven’t gone swimming in a long time so I needed to buy a *new* swimsuit. Of course I hate clothes shopping bcuz I am reminded how overweight I really am. I found the most cutest swimsuit and I thought I looked cute it in but my husband comment you look pregnant in it. Of course he was just joking but like I said I’m a very emotionally sensitive person. Even though it was just a joke it jabbed me like a knife to the heart. I did buy the swimsuit but I was crying on the inside as we drove home.

I need to change myself and become a stronger person emotionally and mentally. I need to stop striving to please others and caring about what others think or say and focus more on myself !! You can’t spell L-I-F-E without I. The most important thing in Life is you !! Others do not matter !! Don’t let others or anyone for that matter control your Life. Life is what you make of it !! In order for you to find true happiness it all starts with YOU !! You are the only person who can make yourself happy in Life and control your Life. So if you want Life to be better you are the one who has to make the change. Nobody can make it for you nor can you depend on others to make the change. Sure, you can have others help guide you towards that change but only you can take action.

I dunno why I care so much about others. I admit I strive to please others, I strive to be accepted and loved by others, I care too much about what others think or care about me … if you hate me I will strive to find out why and change myself to change your hate towards me. Honestly, you’re probably thinking that’s stupid !! Who gives a f**k if they don’t like you. It seems so easy and rolls off the tongue just as easy. But I don’t know if it’s a psychological thing but I just can’t let it go. I’m a likable person and many of the people who know me say I’m the most sweetest, kindest, and loving person so when someone says they hate/dislike me I can’t shrug it off and ignore it. LOL I guess I’m make an excellent customer service rep since I can’t hang up the phone without the customer being completely satisfied and if you’re not I will do everything I can to make you satisfied. :P

I just know that even though I’ve been on this Earth for 32 yrs. there’s still alot I need to change and improve in my Life before I can ever feel or find true happiness and peace in my Life. Just remember that YOU are the center of your world and Life. Life does not revolve around others but yourself. If you let Life revolve around other you’ll never be completely happy with your Life and a part of you will always be miserable. So don’t give a hoot about what others say or think. What’s most important is what you think of yourself and how you see yourself. ← I still need to work on that part. I’m too negative and lose too many friends bcuz of my negative attitude.

Corn Nut .VS Chicacorn


I’ve been wanting to blog about this for a very long time but keep forgetting to. For those of you who are wondering what the heck is Chicacorn well keep reading on and you’ll find out. ;)

I’m sure many of us has eaten CornNuts as a snack. Chile Picante has always been my favorite one. That was before I met my now husband who is of Filipino decent. He gave me a bag of Chicacorn and I was immediately in Love with both the gifter and the snack.

Chicacorn is pretty much fried corn kernels til it puffs up like popcorn and seasoned with salt. The original version has crispy fried garlic cloves which flavors the frying oil and the corn. I admit this snack is not something you wanna eat before a important date or job interview as the garlic is pretty pungent.

Many of the brands out there do contain MSG which I try to avoid. But luckily there are brands that do not have MSG. But if you’re not concerned about MSG there are brands such as Boy Bawang and Ilocos Chicacorn that offer the Chicacorn in different flavors than Garlic. There’s flavors like Cheese, Barbeque, Spicy, Adobo, etc.

If you happen to have a Filipino market in your area do give Chichacorn a try. It’s like a cross between Popcorn and CornNuts. It’s crispy, flavorful, and addicting. You might even desert both Popcorn and CornNuts after giving it a try. Word of advice though they are SUPER crunchy snacks so I don’t advise sneaking some into a movie theater as the crunching sounds you will make will definitely disturb others.

But Chicacorn is definitely a snack to try and if you’re a Onion/Garlic lover like me the crispy fried garlic is a special treat or prize in every bag of Chicacorn.

Somethings are not meant to be …


Happy Hump Day ! I wanted to make today’s blah blah blog topic about things happening for a reason. I’m sure we all believe that everything happens for a reason. Christians believe that God is behind some of those reasons but I truly believe that when something isn’t meant to be there will be signs that you shouldn’t pursue it !

For example … I was looking to buy this mini laptop I saw @ Walmart. It was an Acer Aspire One for $199 I wanted to get it for my MYT CR8TiV™ biz as it’s been taking off recently leaving me swamped with orders. I thought having a mini laptop to track my expenses, orders, profits, etc. would be easier to do with a mini laptop dedicated solely for my business.

I was ecstatic 😃 when my husband approved of the purchase of the mini laptop. I excitedly went with him to the Walmart looking forward to leaving with a *new* laptop but to my dismay they no longer carried it. There were other laptops there priced a little higher than the Aspire One but I really had my ❤ set on the Acer Aspire one.

My current laptop which has been sorta converted to a desktop is a Acer Aspire. It is my main and only computer which I do all my blogging, facebooking, and internet time. Earlier I went browsing the web for the Aspire One and found used one for similar price as Walmart on eBay and *new* on Amazon for a few bucks more.

My friends know I’m not a BIG fan of online shopping. Call me old fashioned but I prefer going into a store and buying what I’m looking for without paying shipping costs. But it’s becoming more and more difficult to buy/find what you’re looking for in a store. Everything is going online !

Anyways sometimes when I am excited for something and can’t get it right away I think of it as possibly a sign that it’s not meant to be. For example my cell phone … I went to several stores only to be told their SOLD OUT and having spent my cell phone money on other things I had to save up some more. I finally had the money and went to the store excited to get my phone but find the store closed early. Came back the next day only to be told the guy that just left bought the last one.

I started wondering if maybe this was a sign that I should spend my money on something else or that it just wasn’t meant to be bcuz every attempt I made left me leaving empty handed. But finally I did get the phone but never did I image just how popular the Samsung Galaxy SIII phone really is.

But I’m starting to wonder the same thing again with the Aspire One laptop. I could of bought it the first time I saw it but I said I don’t need a laptop cuz I already have one. Now I want it and it’s not available. I could look at other stores like Best Buys or Fry’s but I’m sure they aren’t going to be priced at $199 like Walmart was. I’m unsure if I should just forget about it and leave it that there are things of higher priority to spend my money on or continue searching different Walmarts for the laptop.